Dude, you still live with your parents?
This phrase is uttered time and time again those who live their own and can’t understand why anybody would continue to stay in their parents’ home. Although there is nothing wrong with moving out, don’t overlook the benefits of living with your folks a little longer.
If your parents support the idea, there are many reasons to stay at home for a few more years. If you could stay but are feeling the peer pressure to strike out on your own, weigh both options carefully. You may find that leaving the nest is not all it’s cracked up to be.
Here are five reasons to live with your parents longer.
1. Maintain relationships with your parents and anybody else (siblings, extended family) living in the home.
Let’s face it, many people move out and quickly lose touch with their parents. Phone calls start out a couple of times a week, but, eventually, you’re lucky if you can manage to talk once a month. While you may be looking for independence, moving out and avoiding your parents is a mistake that you will eventually regret.
The longer you stay at home, the more time you can spend with your family. Sure, there are going to be arguments and disagreements. In the end, though, you will be happy that you had some extra time to strengthen those relationships.
2. Focus on advancing your career or education.
When you live with your parents you don’t have many responsibilities outside of school and/or work. In turn, you can devote all of your time and effort to getting better grades, making more money, or moving up the corporate ladder. Living at home can be especially helpful when trying to get through college without accruing student loan debt. You can save money by not living on campus while also putting the cash you would be spending on rent toward your tuition.
Take advantage of this time to focus on your goals. As soon as you move out you will find that your life has changed forever. You now have a house to take care of and bills to pay. As a result, you will not have nearly as much time for your career or education.
3. Do you dream of owning a home in the future?
If so, you can save your money much faster when living with your parents. This is especially true if they let you live with them rent free. Why pay for rent when you don’t have to? By staying with your parents a little bit longer you are giving yourself enough time to save for the home of your dreams.
Let’s say you decide to rent an apartment for $500/month. By the end of the year you will have paid $6k in rent alone. This does not take into account the price of food, utilities, and other expenses. By staying with your parents for two more years, you can bank at least another $12k toward a down payment. Now do you see how quickly your savings can add up?
Even if your parents do ask for rent money, it’s usually a fraction of what you would have to pay if you were out on your own. Remember to offer something, whether it be monetary like rent or payment for a utility, or assistance with various household chores. Your parents are doing you a very generous favor, after all.
4. Can you really afford a home that offers all the amenities and features you have come to rely upon?
In short, your parent’s home is probably nicer than anything you are going to get on your own. There is nothing worse than moving from a nice home to a dumpy apartment. Sure, you will have your independence, but that is about it! Saving some cash and working to advance in your education or career will insure that you are able to afford some additional creature comforts when the time comes.
5. Upkeep, upkeep, and more upkeep.
What do you do if the furnace breaks at 2 AM? Who do you call about leaky pipes? If you buy a home you are going to be responsible for everything from interior repairs to lawn maintenance and much more. Not only does this take up a lot of your time, but it also costs quite a bit of money. Even if you move into an apartment you will find yourself spending time on maintenance. When you live at your parent’s home, you may be called upon to help out from time to time, but you won’t be solely responsible for upkeep.
Final Word
Don’t give in to peer pressure! If you have the option to stay at home a while longer, seriously consider taking it. As long as you are using the time wisely and working toward a better life, there is no shame in living with your parents.
Did you live with your parents as an adult? What were you able to accomplish because of it?
I think as long as they don’t poke their nose in your business it’s a fine thing to do.
Here in Egypt it’s more like “You Don’t Live With Your Parents!”. People tend to only move out if they get married or reach 45+ and women often never leave home unless they get married.
I lived with my mom for two years after college to save money to buy my own place. I’m not sure if I would do it if I was living with both parents, however, it was a sweet deal for me during that time in life.
In rare instances, it is mutually beneficial for adult children to live with their parents. Special attention must be paid to the word mutually. If the arrangement benefits only the adult child it is just one more opportunity to rob that child of their independence, confidence and natural desire for self –reliance.
When you ask, “Can you really afford a home that offers all the amenities and features you have come to rely upon?” I have to wonder, do you think your parents started their adult life in this nice home? Chances are they started in a dumpy apartment but they were happy because they were doing it themselves. Valuing creature comforts above independence is a sure prescription for a life long struggle with finances.
Sorry, As a rule I could not disagree with you more. I realize there are special exceptions, but I believe I’ve failed as a parent if my kids find it easier to become “Wards of the state (or home)” than to strive for self pride and self reliance.
One of your points was to “Maintain Family Relationships”. I truly believe the relationship greatly improves on both sides when both deserve mature adult respect – or as Dave would say, “The Thanksgiving Turkey doesn’t taste quite as good when you are endebted to the provider”.
I took your article to extremes and added Numbers 6, 7, and 8 on my website. (Title: Someone to watch over me) Would love to hear your comments.
No offence.
Jim
I think Frank Sinatra said I did it my way, not mama’s way .
i can’t imagine a parent not being happy to live with their adult child — that’s the only thing i’d need on my side of the “mutually beneficial” ledger!
one of our sons is going to start college early .. and the plan is for him to live at home for the entire four years. he’s frugal like his parents; he wants to stay out of debt and save money and graduate ahead of the game. and that’s what we want for him as well!
I lived at home for two years. It enabled me to buy a house. I would welcome my sons home to live with us. However, they cannot “sponge” off me. They must show that living at home is helping them achieve some sort of goal.
I moved out at 18 and don’t regret it one bit (I’m 33) now. I had my own apartment at 18 ( a studio) and worked f/t to support myself. I ended up doing well and for a while I had my own business and was even making six figures. I am more independent and more self sufficient than anyone I know, as a result from living on my own.
Buying a house is not a priority for me since I don’t want to have a family; a nice apartment is all I need. I am glad I didn’t stay at home and left the nest. Oh’ and I’m a female btw. The folks who stayed at home that I know personally are a lot “weaker” and not as “tough” as me; they never learned to make it on their own.
I slightly disagree with you when saying that’s more convenient to live with your parents, especially when you come with the argument that if one can afford to buy a “dump apartment” they would better not fly from his/her nice parents’ nice apartment. No matter how hard you have to struggle to gain a financial freedom, you’ll gradually find out that this is better than any comfort a parent could offer you. Your own apartment will make you more aware of your financial situation and will be a stimulation to work and to save even more to maintain yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend. You have little experience with maintaining it, it’s true, but it will be gained little by little. Your confidence and self-respect is more important than personal comfort and the way to built them it’s financial independence.
This is good advice, but there’s a flip side for the parents (and those who will be parents of adult children in the future). People prepare for their retirements under the assumption that it will just be the mom and dad, but increasingly the adult kids are coming back home. “Boomerang kids” is the term, and it’s not at all uncommon, especially during times of high unemployment.
That means there will be a need to support more than two people, especially if one of the boomerangs comes home with an entire family in tow. At a minimum it may mean maintaining a larger home (can’t sell and move to a condo in Florida!). But there are a whole bunch of expenses that go with that.
If you’re not planning that in your retirement planning, you probably need to.
great post i found this article very interesting i wish i had stayed a home longer saved a bit more money first before leaving and thank you for sharing
I agree, economically, it doesn’t make sense to pay for rent, when you can live with your parents a few years, and then put a down payment on a house. My boyfriend and I are planning on having our first place, literally our first place.
I lived away from home during undergrad, 1 year of work, and my masters degree. When I decided to do my PhD in my home city, it just made sense to live at home with my mother. It’s been fantastic for both of us, actually. We’re both super busy, so we help each other out a lot. It is very MUTUAL. We’re able to tag-team letting the dogs out, cooking dinner, travel, etc. Makes life easier for both of us! Honestly, it’s mostly just like having a roommate. I pay a few of the bills and some of the groceries, but I do not pay rent. During the last couple of years, I was able to pay off all of my credit card debt, and save enough that I can move out without going into more debt. I will be moving out in June, and we are both a little sad. However, I know she will be fine living on her own. As will I.
I do not think that adult children should live at home to take advantage of their parents, but there may be situations in which living with parents is the best case scenario. Of all people in this world, I would hope that I can always ask my parents for help in a dire time of need. I do not want them to erase all hardship. Just be there if I’ve fallen on hard times. I would do that for my children in the future. For me and my mom…it just worked!
I am a woman, live with my parents and am 23. I help around the house. And I focus on my career. I have no shame in it.
Thanks for the article! There’s a stereotype of adult children living in the basement playing video games, and I know some people who fall into it. That’s not healthy, and I don’t think that’s what the author is talking about. On the flip side, I have been living with my parents for the past three years after moving out to go to college. I’m working full-time, taking classes to prepare for a masters’ degree, and socking away a really reassuring amount of money into a savings account. I don’t pay rent, but cook and clean. There’s a certain loss of freedom (especially dating!) but the freedom to save and discover my career path without the huge stress of money has been invaluable. Plus I LOVE my folks and enjoy spending time with them! 🙂 Next fall I’ll be moving across the country into a tiny dumpy apartment to start graduate school, I’ll miss the comforts of home but I’m excited too!